Midnight Monologue

Do all the people in the world need jolts of adrenaline to feel alive – something like massive goals staring directly into their eyes with the feeling that their time to achieve them has already started. A lot of times, I feel blood gushing into my veins, too fast. It gets difficult to hold myself in such instances, and I either start fidgeting or go into a deep slumber of self-talk.

If given a choice, I would go for a very easy life. You stay at home, cook for a couple of people, complaint a lot, watch movies, buy stuff, gossip, manipulate, and just live. You do not have to answer questions like what am I doing with my life, is it all that I am able to do, what does it take to change my circumstances, what all do I expect from myself, what all do I expect from people around me and more importantly, what all do I expect from life? These are vicious questions – they seep into your conscience and never let you sleep peacefully. They perturb you so much that you are forced to look for answers. The moment you heart recognizes its place in a life above mediocre, it seeds a dream of realizing that life in you.

The dream is though a very beautiful one, but it demands a lot of hard work and too many sacrifices. Breaking your shackles is difficult. You feel insecure at the beginning and then you find that the on the name of shackles, you were hiding behind some fake bars. Realising truth in life if the first step towards the fulfillment of your dreams. When you realise the truth, you also realise that what we consider to be reality is not real most times. The truth is not what seems real, practical, or right. Truth is truth!

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all understandings and accepting yourself is the preparation towards enlightenment. Of course, accepting yourself is not as easy as it sounds. The lie that we are better than the rest is so deeply rooted and comforting that it takes the heart of a man to let it go. Remember Kabir’s doha, “बुरा जो देखन मैं गया, बुरा न मिलया कोई, जो मन देखा आपने, मोसे बुरा न कोई! It is so important to know yourself and be comfortable in your skin to really be better. Pretense helps no one, neither does believing that we are better than other people and we know better than the rest. But whom am I teaching?? Charity begins at home.

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