There comes a time in everyone’s life, when life feels empty and directionless. Everything that we have been doing so far stops containing meaning. The mundane seems unbearable and the new is out of sight. These are the times when the soul, otherwise lying buried as our mind and heart fight, shouts at its peak. We, who do not remember its voice anymore, could hear it vaguely; but we do not know what it is saying. The sound appears to be feeble in front of all the noises in our head. All the three tools of our existence – mind, body and soul – seem to be creating their own set of chaos; and we, in totality, become the walking temple of everything that should not be.
At these times, our desires or controls over our lives vanish. Or more apt to say, become dysfunctional, not for their own reasons but because we do not know what to do with them anymore. These are the times of transformations; greater the chaos, bigger the transformation.
It is like the process when larva turns into a butterfly; only that in our case we can never be sure of becoming a butterfly. Our transformation can also happen in the opposite direction, not biologically, but in the level of our consciousness. The reason for all the struggle, pain and uncertainty in life is to increase our levels of awareness. Like a video game, these circumstances are our hurdles, which we have to pass in order to reach to another success. These successes are less about external achievements as much as they are about our internal ones. And whether we proceed higher or go lower in our conscience is largely about our choice.
We can choose to be graceful and accepting in our times of struggle; or we can choose to be annoying and deny our miseries. Whatever that has to happen will anyway happen, our demure will only change our response to it. We, human beings, consider ourselves the powerful organism, capable of thrusting control over nature, society and each other. We are indeed powerful, but our biggest control is not towards external world, and much less towards nature. It is inwards – towards us. The only thing we can control, and which in its all might no less than the world itself, is our inner self. We can control how we are going to respond towards the external circumstance – when the cocoon breaks, whether we want to fly letting go of everything or slime in ourselves holding grudges – and this choice changes everything.
When we are drowning it is only natural to look for something to float on. When the storm of adversities is trying to sweep us off our feet, we need something to hold on, to stop from being pulled into that storm. The sense of roots is as essential to human beings as food and water. Stronger our roots, greater is our capacity to deal with the storm. It is only when our roots are weak or we feel root-less that the strength of storm takes over us.
So how do we find our roots?
This might sound interesting – we are born with all the roots our existence needs. We only had to nourish them through love, patience, faith, and acceptance. With time and thousand years of our selfish upbringing, we have forgotten about these things. We have been tied to worldly matters so much that we have forgotten about our existence as individuals. Our successes, failures, joys and sorrows are all external. Probably the one person we have the most will be us only. We hate ourselves for trivial matters – being fat, inconsistent, not able to cook well, not having any hobby, and so on. We look into the mirror and wonder who we are – how the world is going to perceive us – whether we will create that winning impression – whether we will look beautiful, young and supple today – whether we have it that makes us lovable?
What we hardly do is to look into our own eyes – and sometimes kiss our own lips – and wonder about who we are – that one exclusive creation in the Universe. We do not ask ourselves that question – why in the Universe, billions of years old and bigger than my biggest imagination – was I created? In terms of mass and size, we are nothing but a miniscule amount of energy on a planet earth. Then why might we have been even created. Was it to fill our social responsibilities? Be a good parent, children, spouse, friend, employee or employer? Balance out our karmic debts? Or, is there anything more to it?
The thought that my existence might have more meaning than what I perceive sends me a chill….