Dear Rest of the World,
I am enraged yet amazed by your imprudence. The variety of stereotypes you hold against my brown face is laudable, considering the fact that you absentmindedly pigeonholed us without attesting the credibility of the same.
I am a proud Indian man, who according to credible sources, doesn’t smell of curry, isn’t hairy, does not live to get hitched with some random girl his parents find and procreate a minimum of 3 kids with her. I can also read and write English, which even a bozo would have realized by now.
Please do not categorize people according to the level of body odour, solely based on their nationality. We stink as much as you do and we are aware of the usage of deodorant as much as you are. Our homes might smell of curry, but we don’t, unless obviously if we are covered with it. If you believe in categorizing people based on what they eat the most, then the Koreans would smell of Garlic, the Italians of Pasta or Pizza. Inside India, the Bengalis would smell of fish, Keralites of coconut, punjabis of Butter Chicken and the people of Tamil Nadu might end up smelling of let’s say Masala Dosa. Regardless of their nationality, people around the globe will stink, if proper hygiene is not taken care of.
We are a hairy bunch of people I agree, but that does not send across a message that ours is a land of unibrows, unshaved armpits, chest carpets and bushy legs. Unless off course, if we stop running to the salon twice a month or prohibit ourselves from using waxing stripes or hair removing cream, then the case might be a bit different. Our hairiness depends on our lifestyle. While some don’t find it socially awkward to hang like monkeys inside the local transport bus, flaunting their inch long armpit fur, others cover it up or wax it off. Again, we are not the ones who complain, for we don’t believe in looking like chickens with their feathers plucked off. We are happy the way we are. The Armenians support us!
Woman in our land have the same anatomy like the women in yours. We are not merely a child producing machine. Yes, a considerable amount of marriages that happen in here are arranged by the parents, but that does not mean that we do not have a say in the matter. It is not like we meet a man today and stretch our neck to him the very next day. If you are talking about getting married to a total stranger or someone you don’t know too well, let me introduce you to the fact that you can never fully know a person in a matter of a few years anyway. What do you have to say about the massive divorce rate in your country? Yes, we do have people who have more than 3 children, but I believe the same situation is there in your country. At least, we do not have a never ending line of teen moms. God Bless us!
I understand our English accent is not our forte, but we have an accent which can be understood globally. Our vocal chords don’t send across lines, which a common man wouldn’t understand. I know you find the Jamaican or Italian accent cool and rather sexy, but I know that your brain blinks when it comes to deciphering what they actually meant.
If in case, you have any stigma attached to us, enlighten me as to why you spend bundles of green papers at tanning salons or act dead on the beach? Leave the job of being Indian, to the Indians. Our Bollywood movies might be filled with songs starring dancing actors, but you shouldn’t be the one complaining especially when you love the ‘GLEE’ series.
It’s high time you quit labeling us as dwelling from the land of snake charmers or as illiterate, poor and corrupt people. OK, we might be corrupt, but didn’t you hear that we are working on it? Ours might be a crowded, heavily overpopulated and sometimes suffocating country but through all of that, the system still works and it works pretty damn well!
Just another Brown person.