Because your virginity belongs to the society..

The western lifestyle is a bad influence on our Indian civilization which is a beautiful rose. A beautiful rose which is a combination of many petals, where each petal is designed to stand for our supreme Indian culture, unique belief, traditional values, societal norms and declared taboos. Our lifestyle deserves to be called sacrosanct and anyone who transgresses our settled path is an evil black cat. We have an invisible wall around our nation, higher than the Great Wall of China that expels every western influence that attempts to trespass our moral lines. In case they succeed in entering our domain and affect our children, we continue to hold our guards up and declare our children as unworthy of our love. We are the greatest society in the world.

Our daughters are our own and their virginity belongs to us. It is her body, but it should be touched under our approval. She does not have the right to violate her body and violation it is because we as a society forbid sexual liberty. We have our moral codes, that may be archaic with no strong basis, but they are still our rules. Rigid and dominant rules. 

So, she broke the rules by letting a man touch her and liking the fact that he did. Love which as hard it is to believe happens without giving any value to society, religion, status, money or such important factors. We abhor such depravity, such lewdness. Sex is sacrosanct, subject to a condition precedent known as the holy matrimony and any violation of this supreme law is blasphemy. Love is unnecessary. Marriage comes above sexual liberty and we do not believe in the freedom of a human body.

We do love our daughters, we really do.  But it all comes with an added responsibility of letting them know that they are not anything like the boys. That their actions can bring shame, condemnation and disgrace. That they are like a piece of paper while the boys are needles. The paper will be the one to be torn, forever. But what if she wanted the man to touch her, well, that is just unacceptable. Her body belongs to her family, the society, the religion she blindly follows because we say so and God who is omnipresent only so that he can judge her for her sexual activities.

It is funny how much guilt a woman feels when she thinks dirty. Forget thinking dirty, it is funnier when they realize that they feel guilty even when they hold hands with someone they like. Holding his hand while walking on an empty road and suddenly letting go on seeing as much as a random tea stall. That is how it is and that is what they are shaped into.

All I am saying is raise your daughters in a way that makes them love their own body. Teach them that they hold the leash of their own destiny and that their decisions should always be there own. Let them know that their virginity belongs to them and if they want to save it till after marriage, it should be their own little divine choice. Tell her that her sexuality doesn’t belong to the society and that her body is her own.

But do ask her to make sure that her choices never make her regret. Now that you have done so, leave her alone.

P.S- Judge yourself not me for the thoughts you had about me after reading this little piece. 🙂

PPS- Do read  Natasha & Nikita’s intake on a similar issue.



22 thoughts on “Because your virginity belongs to the society..

  1. It is a tremendous responsibility levied unnecessarily on women to be answerable and accountable for everything they do, freedom becomes a joke when it comes to women.
    I’d like to blame women themselves for trying to control lives of their fellow female friends and family. Men can not dominate women without their approval.

    As writers, we have to raise a voice against it

    Liked by 2 people

    1. For every atrocity a woman had to endure all through her life (specially in our Indian context), there was always the role of another woman behind it. And this saying goes so true that women are all their own worst enemies.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow! What a thought provoking post. I really wish to thrust this on so many of such people I know so that they LEARN taht being a woman doesn’t mean you’re chattel, doesn’t mean you are free for all, doesn’t mean you’re sub-human.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. We have developed a lot as a nation, but probably not much from the angle of civilization, as we are still stuck with the same old, mundane mind-set. Root-cause of every major problem is one’s mindset, this mindset is overburdened with so many unnecessary thoughts that there is hardly any place left for new, and fresher ones.
    No matter how much we cry out for equality, there always has been a layer of partiality when it comes to boys and girls. This piece depicts one of those partiality.
    Society has taken away our right to live freely from our life, that too for some not-so-much-sensible reasons. This is insane.
    I wonder, why is it always a woman to be associated with the term VIRGINITY, what about a man? Has he been transcended down to Earth with no virginity? If this term is so sacred and should be protected with all our power, it shouldn’t be only a woman doing it, but a man too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Neal, I came here to thank you for the follow and of course we are already connected, so I can’t trot out my usual spiel about it’s great to have this connection which enables me to read more of your blog. So, I am not going to say that.:)
    I was going to read this post later as it looks quite serious, but in the end I read it first and I am saddened by it but also grateful that you have talked about this with such empathy and understanding. It isn’t easy being a woman. Even harder being a child who has suffered abuse because she is female and having to learn that her sexuality is not valued by her own family let alone society.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. firstly i love the clarity with which you express your thoughts and feelings to make sure are driven home without any ambiguity..secondly i admire the way you have safeguarded your culture as a nation. ours was eroded in one sweep by western civilization..too bad for third world Africa that our leaders have to compromise and stake our original way of living so as to gain financial aids from western countries……..


    1. In the emerging world of ethnic conflict and civilizational clash, Western belief in the universality of Western culture suffers three problems: it is false; it is immoral; and it is dangerous.The great weakness of the West is that it has nothing with which to inspire loyalty except wealth. But what is wealth? Not much to feed the spirit in all that.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A related issue here is the intolerance towards love and relationships outside of wedlock. I’m happy that this attitude is changing, slowly but surely. I feel a quiet sense of victory when I see a park swarming with lovers. Most see the phenomenon as an obsenity. I like to think of it as a defiance of the attitude that you have depicted here in this post. Needless to say, I see a lot of people tut tutting. Quite a few of them liberal minded people who detest PDA but most of them the self-porclaimed proponents of an elusive yet almost omnipotent concept of the ‘Indian culture’. Sadly, couples in India are subjected to moral policing wherever they go. ‘Getting a room’ is sometimes just not an option. Loved this post.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s