DEAR ME

Dear Me,

You and I go way back, to the beginning. We’re one hundred percent connected in a way no one will–or could ever–understand. We’ve been there, standing together. Sometimes crying in the shower, sometimes snorting through our nose, but it’s always been you and me. Always and forever…

Or so it was supposed to be, but some time ago I left you–

I left you floundering on your own, to rely on love and encouragement and strength from others–from strangers–when it was I who should have held you up. When it was I who should have hugged you and praised you and appreciated you for the wondrous person you are–for all the beauty and life you bring to this world.

I seldom tell you how much I love you. How much I admire you. How beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are. That you are my hero.

I should have told you to ignore the jeers and snickers. To not care what others think. To not be afraid to be different. To not be ashamed of who you are. Worst of all,  I should have ignored the jeers and snickers. I shouldn’t have cared what people thought. Because in doing so, I said horrible things to shame you. I took you for granted and dishonored you. I said you’re not enough. That if you’d only be a better …then I’d love you. If you were more confident, more social, more assertive, then I’d respect you. If you were more adventurous and thick-skinned, if you were a better son, if you achieved your goals, then I’d want you. I’ve said things to you I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy and you’ve taken it, and internalized every calloused word.

And for that I’ve lost you.

I should have been there for you.

I should have taken care of you.

I should have fought harder to be the person you deserve.

I should have protected, defended, and cherished you.

I’m so incredibly sorry I failed you. I’m sorry for hurting you, for leaving you, for not reminding you every second of every day how wonderful you are. How worthy you are. How brave and kind and powerful you are. Please forgive me.

YOU are significant.

YOU are worthy.

YOU are beautiful.

YOU are smart.

YOU are strong.

YOU are enough.

I know you are going through hard times right now. That life hasn’t given you what you hoped and hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would. I know you are disappointed and sometimes feel like a failure or that it is all your fault. But the truth is: YOU are not a failure nor could you ever be. YOU are strong and brave and honest and YOU will overcome. YOU will persevere and come out on the other side more than you’ve ever been before.

You do not need anyone else’s approval, love, or friendship to be whole.

Together WE are enough. WE will conquer this new future. I’ve got you and this time I’m not letting go. Ever. This time, I will put you first.

I will respect you and honor you and cherish you.

Love for eternity,

Me

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80 thoughts on “DEAR ME

  1. Better late than never to realize our wrongdoings and start loving ourselves and taking care of ourselves ❤ I found this piece extremely inspiring and poignant. I hope you always remember that you are indeed smart, and worthy, and enough, Neal!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Reblogged this on Living, Learning and Letting Go and commented:

    Yesterday, I read a post at Neal’s Epiphany that I thought was incredibly powerful. I don’t know how Neal sees it, but using my psychotherapy frame, I see him as having written a beautiful letter to his inner child. Neal has graciously consented to me sharing his letter with all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Neal! Neal! Neal! Arise Sir Neal! You are a true inspiration to the Services of Self , Inner Development and Growth. I award you the special medal for bravery in KYC (Knowing Yourself Completely). This is not only wonderfully and powerfully written, but it resonates with just about everyone who is human. We all have times where we feel less than and we need love and support. It is good to look for it from others, that’s not a bad thing. But it’s more important to prize, value, and support yourself. Nobody is going to love you as much as you love yourself. But you cannot do that if you don’t know how to. We learn to love ourselves when parented with love and affection. Sadly for many people we don’t receive the sort of parenting that allows us to be our fully authentic selves. So at times we need to look in the right places for that love and support and once we have learned those lessons we can then move forward to greater and better. Love to you Neal.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And that’s the sort of love and more of the fact support that I have always yearned for. If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you get in your life, you don’t have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, ‘Love each other or perish’.

      I know that you think so highly of me and have always uplifted me with your love and compassion. I will always be indebted to that 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Neal I don’t think you realize that you have put ‘never’ in the 2nd para. You might want to remove that! 🙂
        Rest assured that though we are blogging buddies, I care for you very much and I hope that you continue to heal more and more each day, my friend. Love, Marie

        Liked by 1 person

  4. You know….. this is something that everyone can relate to We do make mistakes and then regret it. But the important thing is we try to make it all better at the end. We repent! And it actually tells how much importance that person has in our life!!!
    Simply loved it Neal!! Gonna reblog it!! 😃😃

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad that you could relate to my words Deepika. You along with a few here, have always been an amazing support to me and I seriously wish I knew how to reciprocate such compassion true to its feelings.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You can reciprocate it! Just read my each and every single post and give a feedback! I won’t mind it at all!!😝😁😁 Hahaha…. just kidding!!!
        But jokes apart, you’ve been a great support to me not just because you comment on my posts but share deep and insightful thoughts through your blog and that in itself a great thing. And I admire your thoughts!!!😊😊
        P.S. I’m glad you remembered and didn’t say thank you to me!!!!! 😊😄

        Like

  5. What you wrote, its universal and for each one of us. Personally, I think we all reach that one point where we realize that no matter what only we will be by our own side and only we will be there for ourselves till the end. You have such a beautiful way of expressing your thoughts……. Glad I read this letter.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First of all thank you Neal for liking my comment and giving me a chance to read your blogs….
    This conversation with inner soul is beautifully crafted and yes the way you summed up the talk is inspiring…..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for writing and sharing, this was so beautiful. I cried when reading this because I really felt the words resonating very deeply within me. I’m going through a though part of the journey right now and this was one of those synchronistic moments, when you find exactly what you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cheer up beautiful soul :).. I don’t want you to lose hope. When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on. The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts, the more you can attract great things into your life. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for the kind words, they feel so close to home. For me crying is an emotional release, that’s sometimes sad, sometimes happy, but the important part is that it feels real and honest, and I’m closer in those moments to the core of me and through that, to others as well…
        And true about the positive thoughts, those will never die, and that core is always there, just that sometimes some darkness has to flow through as well to help clarify the waters down below 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. This is such a powerful post. We do not do this enough…show love to ourselves. #selflove it is sooo important. It is so easy for us to say nice things to others, but when it comes to ourselves…we struggle. Thank you for sharing!

    Like

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